So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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