ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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