i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize