now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Can Purell be used as lube?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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