babies were throwing up all over the place
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize