just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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