Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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