Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize