There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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