I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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