Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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