dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize