it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize