There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So vagazzling was a success
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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