Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
There are leaves in my underwear?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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