I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
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He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize