And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
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Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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