Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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