Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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