life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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