btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
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So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I supernannyed him into submission
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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