You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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