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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:37pm

    that is why this weekend, i will be drinking boxed wine from diet coke cans!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:10pm

    but why do we never play nightcrawlers anymore?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:58pm

    Guerilla marketing at it's best.

  • 98 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:37pm

    You better be ready to crash some weddings. It's gonna be a good episode tonight.

  • 89 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 9:51pm

    Night man sneaky and mean

  • 96 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:23pm

    4:38 FTW, in a perfect world, Sunny would replace the tarded-ass twilight references.

  • 97 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:54pm

    Remember to pop that shirt off

  • 88 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 2:19am

    You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boys soul!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 8:02pm

    we're crab people now

  • 91 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:07pm

    Dayman ahhhahhh fighter of the nightman ahhhahhh champion of the sun!! Whoever text this would you be my new BFF? You can be the brains and the brawn I wanna be the wild card :)

  • 84 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 21, 09 at 10:43am

    He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

  • 87 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 12:10am

    i eat stickers all the time

  • 89 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:33pm

    makes for a good weekend

  • 87 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 10:28pm

    im a full on rapist!!! lmao and ya there will be pics from the diet coke canned wine weekend don't worry

  • 84 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 10:13pm

    Best show ever -greenman

  • 82 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:42pm

    i know a gale the snail. and i will throw salt all over her by the end of the week.

  • 91 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 10:45pm

    My friends threw salt all over me this week, calling me gail the snail.

  • 75 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 24, 09 at 10:09pm

    It puts the penis in it's mouth

  • 91 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 10:38pm

    nobody writes a musical for no reason

  • 97 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 2:38am

    I can live w/o a girl who wants to feel like a Cobb salad, however. But I'd bang poor desperate Sweet Dee in a hot minute. The alcoholic waitress too!

  • 85 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:45pm

    i wanna party with you

  • 85 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 11:57am

    Wow I love sunny in Philadelphia and dog penis that guy knows us all too well

  • 94 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 7:15pm

    We had a wine-in-a-can party last Friday!!!

  • 90 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 7:41pm

    So you will be blowing dead dogs this weekend?

  • 89 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:35pm

    563 FTW!! i loooove that show its too hilarious.

  • 85 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:59pm

    Oh shit. Look at that door dude. See that door right there? That door marked 'Pirate'? You think a pirate lives in there?

  • 81 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:54pm

    best idea i have ever heard!!!

  • 91 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:04pm

    I don't see a door marked 'Pirate'. I see a door marked 'Private'

  • 84 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:15pm

    I AM THE NIGHTMAN!!!!!

  • 92 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 26, 09 at 6:42pm

    If you like sunny in Philadelphia FUCK YOU

  • 77 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 9:42pm

    There isn't enough salt in the world for her.

  • 90 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:38pm

    This is the best text ever produced on this site

  • 82 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 8:17pm

    First... From the top

  • 78 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:52pm

    Hahaha i'm still laughing at this. Finally a good text That show is hilarious

  • 79 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:34pm

    They must be high all the damn time to do the shit they do. LOVE that show.

  • 84 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:42pm

    Hahahaha dude that's awesome!

  • 82 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 4:35pm

    what if they take it in the face?........in the face!

  • 85 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 12:31am

    Fightin Phils dominate LA!

  • 79 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 19, 09 at 8:15pm

    my friends and I definitely drank franzia from diet coke cans this weekend... gotta love it!

  • 77 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 12:04am

    Wild card, BITCHES!!!!!

  • 81 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 10:28pm

    I'm a phal...full on rapist. Africans, dyslexics, children, that sort of thing.

  • 82 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 18, 09 at 4:06pm

    I enjoy the cleavland steamer as well

  • 73 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:19pm

    charlie we can play night crawlers

  • 70 61
    Submitted by infamouskai on Mar 30, 10 at 1:54am

    It isn't about pedophilia, it's a metaphor

  • 81 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 19, 09 at 9:30pm

    May I point out a musical about pedophilia is not funny Danny devito not withstanding

  • 82 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 11:31pm

    You're my hero. Intervention!

  • 78 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:28pm

    Remember to to post pics of said weekend!!!!

  • 81 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 7:12pm

    Best show of all time!

  • 78 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 5:53pm

    100% Concur. Best text ever. Hands down.

  • 76 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 7:35pm

    Anyone who likes sunny in Philadelphia blows dead dogs period

  • 79 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 4:20pm

    jesus how much cheese did you eat man?

  • 75 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 1:00pm

    Milk steak and jelly beans

  • 79 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 1:42am

    i need to know who in the 563 wrote this....

  • 76 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 8:28pm

    When did I put on greenman?

  • 73 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 3:27am

    This show isn't about pretzels...

  • 75 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:30pm

    So you follwed me all the way home? Yep. And you saw me eat that hot-pocket out of the trash can? yep. Any thoughts on that? nope, Charlie perfect.

  • 74 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 21, 09 at 1:55pm

    Pro Tip: Just because it's legal to marry your second cousin, doesn't mean you should.

  • 72 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 8:32pm

    Charlie, Dennis, and Mac are my boyssss.

  • 77 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 11:15am

    That episode about the toll troll was ridiculously hilarious! The show itself is insane and I am hooked!!

  • 71 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 19, 09 at 9:25pm

    Any dog semen in there?

  • 72 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 12:28am

    looks like I'll be having a milksteak this weekend then

  • 70 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 4, 09 at 7:33am

    Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML

  • 76 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Nov 5, 09 at 7:33pm

     if you like this in your ass you like this show

  • 66 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 10:56pm

    When your friends threw salt all over you they should have called you "Edsel the PRETZEL"

  • 71 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 16, 09 at 12:35am

    Last friday I drank andre spumante out of a root beer can. It was awesome

  • 74 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 11:37pm

    that was my text i guess....sorry i party.

  • 70 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 11:27pm

    I guess last weekend I should have crashed a funeral with super soakers, canned wine, and a drunk, old fat guy with weed. Damn.

  • 64 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:55pm

    lol best f***ing show ever

  • 62 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:11pm

    that was the best intervention ever

  • 70 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 6:48pm

    charlie: "whats in the jar? what is in that jar?" episode where charlie and frank are tripping at eagles tryouts

  • 60 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 17, 09 at 1:05am

    So would you be in a Wendy's bathroom with bacon bits and old-fashioned hamburgers right about now?

  • 67 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 15, 09 at 8:46pm

    My friend and I did wine in a can last Saturday. We were making violent hand guestures with our cans. It was great.