gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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