I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize