I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
barbara walters just said penis...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize