Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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