to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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