My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize