If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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