wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i think i just lost a toe
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize