You really coming over, don't trick.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
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A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
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I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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