Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
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I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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