Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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