I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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