puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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