the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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