i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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