so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize