I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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