They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
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My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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