; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
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Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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