I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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