Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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