I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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