The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize