i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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