oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize