Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ok first of all what the fuck
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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