Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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