She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize